It's Not X-mas, Yet
by Jubalii
Summary: Seras is tired of her Master's teasing and decides to use her...assets to her advantage.
1. Haul Out! It's Christmas!

**Author's Note: "This is supposed to be funny/silly/romantic/slightly-in-character. Um...It's June. I have no idea where this came from. (Does a ta-da motion) Enjoy!...?" ****  
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**Coughcough I don't own Hellsing coughcough**

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**Chapter 1: Haul Out! It's Christmas!  
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It was the holiday season at Hellsing, and Seras was as ecstatic as she was every year.

As a human Seras had truly loved the Yuletide season, the only time in the orphanage where all of the children were equal. At this time of year, each child was given a handpicked gift from the benefactors of the Home. Oftentimes, this was the only gift they were given in the year as birthdays fell to the wayside.

Seras' love for the season continued into her un-life as well. The soldiers under her command were given only a 2-day vacation to spend with their families, so most of the holiday season was spent working. Seras tried to make this time as stress-less as possible for the men and women under her supervision and personally sent them off on their vacation with a smile and a small parcel of candy for each one, taken out of her own hard earned savings of course. But the chunk of change she dealt out was well worth it to see the grateful expressions on their faces, and each returned the favor with a holiday greeting at the very least. The veterans to this "Seras tradition" often brought her a small gift in return, and the Draculina usually left with her basket full of bath products and even a pot of poinsettias from her officers.

She also received a personal gift from Sir Integra on Christmas Day, since she was the only one around and the two women had "adopted" each other as family after the tumult of the Millennium War. Seras had found the perfect gift back in July and had carefully hidden the present- a monogrammed robe for the aging woman who- more often than not- complained about her "cold bones" in the winter.

As for Seras, she_ already_ had the gift she'd been hoping 30 years for-her Master had returned. It didn't matter that he didn't celebrate Christmas and only acknowledged it when he was mocking the festive atmosphere; he was here and that was the best gift she could've ever gotten from the vampire. Even though he'd teased her about the decorations in her room, chuckled from the wall as the soldiers gave her their gifts, and guffawed at the Christmas carols she belted out in the shower; Seras paid him no mind. She was filled with the spirit of goodwill-she turned the other cheek and sang even louder, placing her flowers on the dresser and out of the way of Alucard's feet, which were more often than not the centerpiece of the table in her quarters.

However, teasing his Childe just happened to be the old vampire's favorite hobby, save for teasing his master. By the time the private Christmas Eve gathering of the Council of Twelve came around, Seras was at her wits' end keeping her Master from sabotaging the party. After one night where he'd decided to let her know that she was singing too loud in the shower-by getting _into_ the shower with her to tap her shoulder and inform her thusly-Seras flopped on Integra's bed to wait for the woman. She relished the soft goose-down comforter under her skin, wincing slightly as her master probed her mind as he called her.

_I can't come; I have to wait in Sir Integra's chambers_ Seras fibbed, silently thanking the woman who offered her private chambers as a sanctuary for her little Draculina, all but enchanting the chambers so Alucard couldn't enter.

_Don't lie to me, little Police Girl_ Alucard purred in her mind, and she winced and licked her lips.

_Don't bother me, please Master. I promise to come see you later_ she replied, pulling her mental barriers to block her thoughts. Alucard pensively pushed the barriers, but ultimately gave her privacy and retreated. It was only a short time later that Integra walked in. She was surprised to see her servant waiting on her, but otherwise didn't react. Seras sat straight up in the bed as the woman began to undress and don her pajamas.

"Alucard?" Integra asked, not bothering to turn around and look at Seras' face. Seras sighed, sitting on the edge of the large bed and kicking her feet like a child.

"Who else?" she mumbled, before grinning widely and jumping up to grab the older woman's shoulders. "Listen Sir Integra: I have an idea that _may_ get Master riled up a little, but I'm going to need your permission, and possibly your help. Are you up to it?" she whispered excitedly into Integra's ear. Integra half-turned with a smirk on her face.

"What exactly are you planning, vampire?" she asked playfully. Giggling, Seras led her over to the bed and began to relay her plan, the two women staying up far into the night as they perfected the details.


	2. An Awful Good Girl Goes Bad

**Chapter 2- The "Awful Good Girl" Goes Bad**

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Integra's sitting room now had 13 extra chairs and a roaring fire in the grate. 12 of those chairs were occupied, with Integra and her Council brandishing glasses of wine and Scotch, and Seras occupied the last, her glass full of blood. Alucard had yet to make an appearance, although Integra had promised to stake him out front to meet the New Year's sun in his birthday suit if he remained absent-a thought that made Seras giggle violently and choke on her drink. The men were slowly growing more inebriated as the night wore on and Seras kept them pleasantly entertained with chatter, feeling somewhat like the geisha she read about in stories.

Finally she noticed her master make an appearance and she stood, making her way across the shadows to greet Alucard. She was halfway across the room when Integra singled her out.

"Miss Seras Victoria-how about a little song for our nice guests here tonight?" Integra said brazenly, taking a sip of her wine. Seras blushed, gazing at the men before mumbling something. "Oh? Why, all the soldiers boast of your _beautiful_ shower voice; surely one song won't be too much trouble?" she declared, and Seras blushed even more deeply. She looked over to her Master for salvation, but he grinned and leaned back into the shadows. Sighing, she held up her hands in defeat.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I only know all the lyrics to _one _carol. All the others I like to sing are just snippets…" she admitted shyly. All of the men cooed comfortingly at her, and Sir Irons even offered to sing a duet. Integra laughed, standing and walking over to Seras.

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Tell me what song and I'll put a tape in for you." Integra leaned down and Seras whispered in her ear. Integra pulled back, her eyebrows raised. "Of course I have that one Seras, but that's a little tawdry, even for you." Turning, Integra went to get the tape. Seras stood in the center of the floor, cackling internally. Everything was going according to plan; Seras had given the signal when she stood to greet Alucard, and Integra had acted her part perfectly. _Master has no clue!_ She sniggered internally, happy that he wasn't trying to read her thoughts. Suddenly, soft music began to lilt through the room and the men turned expectantly to Seras, unaware that they were about to get the show of their lives.

_Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me, _

_I've been an awful good girl-_

Little known by anyone except Integra, the one power Seras had fully mastered was hypnotism. Seras herself had chalked it up to feminine wiles, easily manipulating anyone into doing her bidding. It really wasn't hard; all you had to do was think of the reaction you wanted- and from whom, and it practically worked itself. Integra had used it to bully money from people until Seras had gotten a guilty conscience and refused to do any more. But now, Integra was trying her best not do roar with laughter from her viewpoint in the corner as Seras tried to seduce the room full of men.

Seras purred her song, singing in her most sultry voice as she took off her jacket, exposing long pale arms and shoulders. Her strapless dress hung low, giving anyone an enticing view as she swayed to the music. As she had guessed before, it took only one swing of her hips to reduce Sir Penwood to a glassy-eyed zombie, his tumbler threatening to fall from his hands as he stared happily at Seras.

A swish here, a bit-of-leg there, and over half the men fell victim to her spell. Seras noted with glee that many of them would give her anything she wanted at the moment, each lost in his own lust-filled wonderland. She glanced over in the midst of her alluring dance to see Alucard staring at her with wide eyes, although she couldn't tell if it was from arousal or astonishment. Perhaps a little of both? She rolled her shoulder and gave him a scorching look before dismissing him with a turn of her hips.

_Come and trim my Christmas tree_

_With some decorations bought at Tiffany's-_

Sir Irons had held up incredibly well, having not submitted to the seductive qualities that plagued his colleagues. Seras sauntered over to him, bending down at the waist to stare him straight in the eyes, crooning as she traced a finger over his jaw and onto his lips, watching as he went slack-jawed. _Hook, line, and sinker_ Seras thought happily, looking over to her master, who hadn't moved a muscle. _And then there was one_…. She turned on her heel, spreading her legs slightly as she strolled over, her eyes locked on his. She grinned, a perfect parody of the one he always wore-and she put all of her power into her words, keeping him captivated on her. She stopped quite close, her eyes inviting him in as she tried to look as mouthwatering as possible.

_Santa baby-forgot to mention one little thing-_

She murmured the last chorus, pulling slightly on his cravat before giving him a sly wink. He stared at her, his face a strange mix of emotions that seemed out of place on the smooth-talking vampire's features. She reached the center of the room and ended her song on a long note, pulling her hands up in a snap at the last possible moment.

The action snapped the men out of their trance, and they all immediately burst into applause. She blushed deeply once more, giving a small bow before retrieving her jacket and slipping it back on. 30 years ago, she'd never dare to perform in such a lewd manner. _I suppose the years have made me bold_… she thought as she took her place beside Integra, who nudged her slightly and murmured something about Alucard. Looking up through her lashes, Seras almost jerked as she noticed the deep, heated stare he was giving her. Not knowing what to do, she decided to ignore it and continued the night as though nothing had happened.

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For reasons the men couldn't place, they all felt rather light-headed and ended the party soon afterwards. Integra had also bid Seras and Alucard a good night, turning to go to her own bedchambers after all the guests had left. Seras hadn't seen where Alucard had went after that, but morning was not too far away and she decided he must have went to bed early. She hadn't been able to tell if he'd been hypnotized or not-red eyes don't get glassy, apparently-and so she half-wondered if he was a bit light-headed too. He hadn't tried to read her thoughts and she began to worry. Maybe she'd been a _bit_ too forward; after all, he was still her Master and no matter how he spoke to her, she had boundaries to keep that he didn't.

She pondered this as she brushed her teeth and went to her own room, yawning as she sensed the dawn's fast approach. She tucked her dress back into the boudoir and closed the door, only to jump as she saw Alucard standing behind her in the mirror. She squeaked and ducked, phasing reflexively to appear by her bed. Realizing who it was after a moment, she placed a hand over her chest even though her heart no longer beat.

"Master! Don't scare me like that!" she squealed, feeling the rush of adrenaline. She glanced at him. He had taken off his hat, coat, and glasses which gave her a good view of his face. He still wore the same look he'd given her in the sitting room. "What? Is there something you need, Master?" she asked tentatively. He turned and sat in one of the chairs at the table, motioning for her to sit also. She complied, still confused. Finally he laced his fingers and looked at her.

"What exactly was that up there, Police Girl?" he asked quietly, his voice betraying no emotion. Seras reddened under his gaze, placing her hands in her lap and looking up at him innocently.

"Sir Integra asked me to sing, so I did," she said carefully. Alucard raised an eyebrow.

"She asked you to sing, not seduce every old geezer in the room by behaving like a bawdy bar-dancer," he countered. Seras just stared at him. _Are you included in those "old geezers"? _She thought, but didn't dare say anything aloud. Alucard placed his chin in one hand, his arm reaching across the table to her. He placed one long finger on her jawline, following the curvature carefully as he traced the same path her own fingers took with Sir Irons. He stilled on her lips, his face slightly curious. She stayed perfectly still under his touch. Falling back to her chin, he gently pulled her forward until she leaned towards the center. Looking up they locked eyes, close enough to feel the other's breath.

"Don't do it again," he commanded with a slight growl, his eyes possessive. She nodded slowly, not really understanding anything but following orders anyway. He smiled triumphantly and nodded in agreement as he pulled his hand away. Before she could move his tongue darted out and he licked the spot his fingers vacated, making her gasp and jerk slightly.

"However, I _may _not mind a private showing…." He teased, his voice deep and with a hint of…hoarseness? Before she could retaliate-or even think for that matter-he was gone. Slumping back in her chair, Seras felt her damp chin and winced at the signals she was getting. Did he want her or _didn't_ he? Couldn't he just come out and say it? Seras groaned, feeling that he wouldn't let her live down her little "performance" for a while.

"Master, you're just _so mean_." She whined to the empty room.

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**FIN**


End file.
